No More Broken Possibilities
by cityofsizzy
Summary: *MAJOR COHF SPOILERS* Isabelle and Simon try to fix what was left broken. Will she run away from him, too hurt by his loss of memory or give him a chance in beginning to remember their relationship, perhaps making it stronger? Post-CoHF; READ IF YOU MISS SIZZY and their PURE PERFECTION :)
1. Remember This

***MAJOR CITY OF HEAVENLY FIRE SPOILERS UP AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK* **

**just a heads up, this is in no way, shape, or form the sequeal for Everything Has Changed, as I said once before that it probably would not be out until Mid July, but I really wanted to write more sizzy, and since I have been, this is one of the many things I managed to come up with!**

**(longer Author's Note at the end)**

**enjoy!**

**...**

Isabelle leaned against a tall tree in Central Park, her fingers tapping mindlessly on the screen of her cell phone as she waited for Simon to arrive. Even though Magnus had agreed to help him with training, Isabelle wanted to be a part of it as well, and had invited Simon to the park for a head start. Now, she was wondering whether or not it had been a good idea as images of his 'new mundane self' kept popping into her head. _He doesn't even remember me._ She thought. _He doesn't remember us._

"Isabelle!" Simon's voice interrupted her thinking, and she snapped her head up to see him walking towards her. He looked like himself, but the healthy human glow and the glasses were some things that she would need to get used to. "Hey."

Isabelle unpeeled herself from the tree and shoved her phone into her pocket before allowing a tight smile to catch at her lips. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." Simon was smiling back, real and genuine; her favorite smile. Crooked, with one side of his mouth pulling up before the other. It made Isabelle's heart contract and eyes water slightly, but she quickly shook it off and gestured for him to follow her.

Once they reached a small clearing with no one around, Isabelle turned around and began to put her hair up into a high ponytail. She felt Simon's eyes on her, and when she finished styling the long locks, he approached her a bit shyly and stuck a hand out to gently touch the ends. "You should keep it down. It's pretty." He said softly.

Isabelle's heart was fluttering in her chest, once again. She almost gave in and was reaching to tug her hair back down, but at the last moment, shook her head and frowned. "No, I don't want it to get in the way."

There seemed to be a flash of disappointment deep in his dark eyes for a moment, but Simon nodded with a sense of understanding and took a few steps back. "So, what are we starting with?"

**…**

A an hour and a half later, Simon was panting like what they had been doing was the most strenuous thing he had ever been through in his life, and Isabelle was peering at her nails nonchalantly, making sure they weren't cracked or anything.

"You wouldn't happen to have any water, would you?" Simon asked tiredly between large gasps of air. "I feel like all those drills you made me do are _meant _to knock me out."

Isabelle looked up from her hands and could not suppress the smile the crept onto her lips. He was lying in the grass, cheeks flushed, face shiny with sweat. His glasses were in his hand as he took his free one to wipe at his brow. It reminded her of the days when he was still a vampire, and they would talk about how he could no longer sweat or breathe...or have a beating heart. All of which were things that he had wanted back, but now he had them.

"Isabelle," He squinted his eyes at her, clearly struggling to see without his glasses, but obviously able to tell that she was was checking him out. "Quit staring at me."

She quickly looked away, feeling her cheeks burn with embarrassment. It was not the first time he had asked her to stop staring, but it was the first time since he was back and remembering.

"Are we done here?" Simon put his glasses back on, then stood up and started to brush the grass off of his clothing. "I would really like some coffee to get my energy levels back up so that my mother doesn't ask me why I'm sleeping so early when I get home."

Isabelle sighed, but hopped off of the bench she had been sitting on and held out her hand. "It was nice working with you today."

Simon narrowed his eyes at her, then her outstretched hand, his arms still and unmoving by his sides. "Are you serious?"

Isabelle frowned, deeper this time. _Stubborn, as always._ She thought to herself. "What? It's a handshake; you _shake _my hand-"

He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "I don't want to shake your hand."

"Then, don't shake it." Isabelle snapped, hurt mixing up her features as she pulled her hand back.

"No, it's just that I was hoping for something more." Simon confessed, more red filling in his cheeks.

Isabelle did not let up her now sour attitude, even though he seemed to be opening up to her more. "What do you expect me to do? Make out with you?"

Simon laughed, all traces of his uncomfort apparently evaporated into thin air. "Yeah, maybe." He said sarcastically.

Isabelle did not find this funny. She was trying so hard to be serious, to try and bring him back, but he was only joking around, making things harder. It was difficult to not wrap her arms around him and bury herself in his scent, his familiar 'warmth' that made her feel safe and sound. Some things that she used to feel comfortable doing around him now, probably would have sounded or seemed creepy to him because of his lost memories, but she couldn't help it. She wanted him back. Badly.

"We're saying goodbye, Simon, and for now, you can continue your training with Magnus." It pained her to say those words to him, and she knew that he could tell. The stupid smirk slipped right off of his lips and he tried to grab her arm, to stop her from leaving, but she turned anyway, wrenching her arm away for good.

Simon stumbled in front of her, accidentally tripping over his own feet and sending himself sprawling on the grass. Isabelle, having not noticed his poor clumsiness, tripped on his legs and landed right on top of him. "Hey…" He smiled crookedly at her again. "This feels familiar."

A spark of hope began to flicker in Isabelle's stomach and she widened her eyes at him as tears started to blur her vision. "What about this do you remember?" She adjusted herself over him, so that she was in a more comfortable position for both of them.

"I remember feeling uncertain at first, but once you started to kiss me...I got more confident, and you let me come closer. I remember you warming me, even though I didn't get cold, and something coppery in my mouth that instantly made me feel better...something that I always felt I wanted-needed from you." He reached up and tugged at her hair tie so that the long, dark strands hung around them like a soft, velvet curtain. "I remember running my hands through something softer than silk, and always looking into dark, dark eyes, knowing that the owner of those eyes cared a lot about me."

Isabelle almost felt like she could cry with both joy and sadness. Of course he had not remembered everything yet, but this was a good start. Perhaps even a _great_ start. "I still care about you. I always have."

"Yes, and even though I don't completely remember everything, I feel that every time I go near you, I have some sort of aching, like I'm missing something I have grown to love so deeply." He placed a hand on her cheek, wiping away a fallen tear. "The first thing I thought when I saw you yesterday, was how beautiful you are, and how you're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. But in my dreams of you, your laughter is what made me feel the most alive, and just being with you."

Isabelle wanted to stop crying-she hated showing raw emotions like this, but suddenly, she realized, it was Simon. This was Simon. Her Simon. The one who told her that he loved her and the one that she loved spending time with. He was someone who had found his way into her heart and settled there. "You know how I said that I might let you try to be that guy again? The hero who earned the ability to kiss me?" She breathed. Her knees were on either side of his hips, and her hands were snaking up to his chest, pausing as she waited for his answer.

Simon nodded, mesmerized by her reaction to his words, which obviously meant quite a lot to her.

"You've been proving yourself, Simon. And even if you don't remember being a hero, or doing those things, you're still Simon, the sarcastic geek I fell in love with in the first place." Isabelle felt his hands move across the small of her back, pressing her closer to his body.

"And you're a heartbreaker, Iz. Someone who may or may not break my heart. But I'm still willing to try and get you fall in love with me all over again."

Isabelle's heart was pounding in her chest as she leaned forward, completely aware of the fact that her hair was somewhat in the way. "Simon…" She whispered, her lips barely a centimeter away from his. "I never fell out of love with you."

He reached up then, to cup her face the way he used to, and bring her lips down on top of his. The moment was ruined by her hair, which got in the way, and had them both spluttering it out of their mouths, Simon laughing lightly.

"I told you, it would get in the way." Izzy mumbled, trying desperately to sweep it out of her face. Simon gently brushed her hand back and moved the soft strands for her, letting his fingertips linger over her smooth cheekbone.

"Nothing will get in the way of us ever again. At least, I won't _let_ anything get between us." Simon said firmly. However, his next words were soft and promising, "I promise."

Isabelle let herself smile and this time it was real, sweet and gentle, lighting up her whole face, making it seem even prettier than before. If that was possible. "I don't usually let guys promise me things, or let myself promise things to guys, but because it's you...I promise too."

Finally, when their lips met for the first time in months, it was full of a passion and love so great, they were both lost in each other for a long moment, as if this kiss was the oxygen that they had both been deprived of for all that time, and they were finally, _finally_ breathing.

**...**

**YAYYAYYAYYAYYAY  
****SIZZY FEELS EVERYWHERE!**

**So, yeah, this is a oneshot, but if you REALLY want it to not be a oneshot, I will continue it once I get back from camp in July because my other story (Everything Has Changed) is very, very incorrect in terms of the events that happened during City of Heavenly Fire. **

***laughs nervously* I'd love to hear what you thought about this! I really, really, enjoyed writing it, mostly because it was what I really wanted for sizzy. For them to be close again, and for Izzy to feel happy again because SIMON IS REMEMBERING.**

**PLEASE, please leave a review, and I'm sorry if this was disappointing to you, but I will try and take your criticism into consideration for whatever I write next!**

THANKS FOR READING!

**-H.**


	2. Crash and Break Down

**Sorry it took so long for this, but I was away for a month and I wasn't able to post…**

**Here is a new chapter (as highly requested), sorry if it is confusing in any way...**

**Thank you for being so interested in my story! It's really fun to write it, so I'm glad that I can.**

**Enjoy chapter two!**

**...**

Magnus was a good teacher, but Isabelle was even better. She would teach him how to fight and reward him with a kiss, sometimes on the cheek, depending on how badly he performed the skill. He had issues keeping up with Magnus because the warlock moved so quickly and would frown disapprovingly if anything was done incorrectly, sometimes zapping him with sparkling, blue finger tips. Simon never really wanted to join Magnus for his shadowhunter lessons, mainly because Izzy's were much more fun, having involved flirting, laughing, kissing, some learning, oh, and did he mention kissing?

That's what they were doing now, in Simon's apartment, except Simon's phone kept buzzing in his pocket, disturbing the moment. He tried to convince Izzy that it was nothing, but the caller was obviously very persistent because they had called four times in the last five minutes.

Izzy groaned against his lips when the phone went off again, and she pulled away, much to his dismay, to dig his phone out of his pocket and answer it. "Why is Magnus calling you?" She demanded. Her lips were slightly swollen from the pressure of Simon's lips on hers, and her cheeks a little bit flushed, but the smile and pleasure that had smoothed her expression just a few moments ago, was now replaced with edgy suspicion.

Simon's stomach did a flip and he gulped nervously. "I may or may not have forgotten about training today..."

Izzy shoved him off of her and stood up, shrugging her jacket on. "Simon, I'll take you to his apartment; get your coat."

He shook his head. "No, let's stay here. We were having a good time, and I'm sure Magnus won't mind if I miss one session. Right?"

"Wrong." Izzy snapped back. "You promised me you wouldn't let anything come between us and if you can't become a shadowhunter because you slacked off during training, I will murder you."

Simon sighed, running a hand through his hair tiredly. "Well, since it means this much to you-"

"It means a lot to me, Simon, because I-" She stopped short, as if just then realizing that something bad had slipped out. Her eyes were wide and cheeks a little red, and she kept looking away from Simon's eyes whenever they made eye contact.

"You love me?" Simon stood up and tried to grab her hands, but she shied away. "What's wrong?"

Izzy wrapped her arms around herself and sighed heavily. When she looked up at Simon, he saw an angry fire making her eyes burn, dark and dangerous, pointing directly at him. He knew Izzy-well, a few of her major personality traits-but he didn't truly _know _Isabelle Lightwood. The way she sometimes acted towards him made him think that perhaps he once did, but now, he wasn't so sure whether she was upset with herself, or with him. Three months ago, when he 'first' met her, he had thought that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life, yet there was something about her voice and the way that she said his name that made him feel as if he had known her once before. After being with Isabelle and her brothers and Clary and Magnus over the past few months, he was able to understand more about his forgotten past and his relationships with all of them. However, Simon was not fully certain of it because he had not totally recalled each little detail. How was he supposed to find out if ascension will fix his memories and set things straight again? As far as he knows, this has never been the case with anyone else who has ascended.

"Isabelle." Simon tried again with her, careful to keep his hands by his sides, and voice steady and calming. "Please talk to me."

Isabelle bit her lip, and as her arms unwrapped themselves from her torso, he saw them move back down to her side and clench into shaking fists. Although everything about her body language screamed 'immense fury', the fire in her eyes died, and their usual sharp concentrated look returned, without any bitterness mixed in. "I'm fine. And no...I don't love…"

Simon was more confused, rather than hurt by what she was trying to say. She doesn't love him? But she told them during their first training session together that she never fell out of love with him. Although...the realization struck him in his chest, hard and cold. Isabelle had never mentioned their relationship status again after that, or told him that she loved him. It seemed like an Isabelle thing to do. Multiple times, he was able to sense that she wasn't a person who admitted her feelings easily, if at all. Simon didn't really have an issue with that. Taking things slowly after what had happened to him and their previous relationship made complete sense, yet going against what was there before made no sense. What happens happens, but if Isabelle kept telling herself that she didn't love Simon, he was going to wonder if ascension was the right answer when he just might be stumbling into a questionable relationship.

"You don't have to say anything; never mind whatever it was that set you off. I'll go to my lesson." Simon grabbed his jacket, then his phone and as he was passing Isabelle, leaned over to kiss her softly on the cheek. "See you later, I guess."

**...**

By the end of Magnus's lesson, Simon's head was pounding painfully, and he wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep off the worries that the day had brought. The entire time, he could not stop thinking about Isabelle and how he had left her in his apartment without any confirmation on how things would pick up from there. The thought of just going home and trying to stay away from all the romance drama and the shadowhunter business brought calm over his body. Any excuse to stay away from the Institute, which is where Isabelle would surely be, was welcome, but unfortunately for him, Alec had been in the apartment the entire time, watching, and offered Simon a ride to there, where Clary and Jace were meeting him to have some weapons in combat practice. Simon wanted desperately to refuse, but the more he thought about training, the more he thought about Isabelle, and how they needed to fix things between themselves. Surely, she would be at her home, so he kindly took Alec up on the offer and was on his way to the Institute before he could change his mind.

**...**

Simon felt like he was teetering on the edge of something dangerous. The world around him was so dark that if he had closed his eyes, it would have made no difference in his vision whatsoever. There were two choices he could make: either go with Isabelle and her shadowhunter friends and strive to be one himself, or make the safer choice -though admittedly more boring- to stay with his friends and family that he actually remembered and could trust. Not that he didn't entirely trust Isabelle. What she said makes sense, and being around her aroused a deep longing and lust within him that he cannot quite recall. But even with all the signs and feelings pointing towards ascension, it still seemed wrong for him to just leave his family for people and relationships he couldn't even remember. Things were starting to close in on Simon as his training drew to an end and he felt as though the decisions were choking him and sparking every nerve in his body with anxiety-

"Simon!" Clary shouted, startling him out of his thoughts and back into consciousness. He blinked to see three pairs of worried eyes staring right back at him: one green, one tawny and one blue. Alec, Jace and Clary. The redhead looked extremely distraught with her eyebrows pinched together and cheeks flushed slightly red. "You just fell down! Are you okay?"

Simon blinked again and when his eyes opened to survey his surroundings, he noticed that the tall walls of the institute stretched up around the four of them and a large blue mat underneath. They were in the training room. The last thing he remembered was trying to pinpoint the tip of a dagger in the dummy all the way across the room before the air around him began to shimmer and the floor beneath started to sway. Now, black spots were fading away at the edge of his vision as he struggled to sit up and reassure his concerned friends.

"I'm fine." Simon said, though his voice was shaking.

Jace and Clary both helped him stand up while Alec left the room for a brief moment, only to return with a cold glass of water, "Drink up. It should help calm your nerves."

He gratefully took the cup and gulped about half of it down, instantly noticing his senses sharpen and head clear as the cool liquid swarmed throughout his body.

However, even after he finished drinking, the three other beings beside him continued exchanging worried glances between each other, sharing unsaid words and thoughts that he could not quite decipher.

"What?" Simon asked, setting the cup down on a large wooden table that held newly sharpener daggers. One of them was missing, and glancing down, he could see it laying on the mat a couple of feet away. _Probably skidded a little bit after I dropped it when I...passed out? _

Jace was the first to speak after a moment of silence, "How have you been sleeping, Simon? I mean, since you have started the training."

Simon knew they were catching on to him; how could they not? There were bags under his eyes and a certain jumpiness to him that had not been there before he met them. He opened his mouth to say 'I'm fine', but Jace could apparently see the lie in his eyes before it had even been spoken.

"Don't lie."

Simon pursed his lips and began to grind his teeth in frustration. "No."

Clary let out a small gasp and went to cover her mouth with her hand and shook her head sadly. "Are we working you too hard?"

Jace wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed, gently trying to coax her into a calmer state.

"No, it's not the training-"

Alec interrupted, his eyes wide and accusing, "Is it us?"

"Or you guys." Simon continued without stopping, slightly irritated with the interjection. He took a deep breath and raked his hand through his hair, blowing out hot air as the soft curls rolled between his fingers. "I'm just not sure if I…"

Clary stepped away from Jace and towards Simon, her eyes crinkling with confusion. "You're not sure if you what?" She asked.

"Spit it out, Mundie." Alec hurried him on, none too kindly.

Simon swallowed, gulping down his pride and confidence as well. He didn't really know how he could put what he was about to say in words that wouldn't entirely ruin them. It was so obvious that they wanted him to be one of them as well, but it was hard to want it as much as them when he couldn't even recall what made them all such a close knit group. Sure, Clary, Magnus and Isabelle had all explained how he was a vampire and he had saved people and killed enemies and been a great friend and...boyfriend. Although he got strange feelings around them, it was hard to pinpoint them and feel certain about everything that they did. Now, as he prepared to see crushed faces, not to mention feelings, he thought about how much of their time he would have wasted if he backed out now. The day he was scheduled for ascension was not far at all-only one more week-and he still had to say goodbye to all of his 'outer' friends and his family with a made up story on what he was going to be doing and where he was going. He would never be able to see them again.

"I'm having second thoughts." Simon said quietly.

Just as he had expected, Jace's eyes hardened when Clary gasped and began to cry a little bit. Her hands came up to cover her face and when they moved away again, her eyes were ringed with red and cheeks were glistening with tears.

Just those four words were able to make Clary feel as heartbroken as she looked. It made Simon realize what a terrible mistake he was making, and just how truly he had been loved by all of these people he felt like he had only just met, and how much they wanted him back.

"I don't mean to upset you guys, it's just hard. I'll have to leave my family in a little bit and I'm not sure if I'm making the right choice by leaving behind all that they've done for me to step into something that I'm not even capable of remembering I was a part of."

Alec pursed his lips for a moment, as if he was trying to bite back something he wanted to say, but is not sure he should say it. After a moment's pause, he speaks up, "Isabelle would be devastated to hear that."

Simon felt his temper slip, and before he could prevent it, words began to spill from his mouth that expressed all of the feelings he had not been able to let over over the last few weeks, "Not everything is about Isabelle-or you guys for that matter. I have feelings too, and I think that for once, you should stop thinking about how much happier you all will be once I ascend and start thinking about whether or not I should be allowed to decide if I want to leave my family and friends for a bunch of people I can't remember risking my life for!" He was breathing hard by the time he was done shouting at them, and didn't even think twice about the shock or hurt in any of their features.

An oddly electric sound reverberated throughout the room as something feel to the floor a little ways away. They all looked up to see Isabelle standing in the doorway with her whip laying in a tangled heap at her feet. Her face looked stark white, and her eyes were shining. With tears? Once again, Simon couldn't tell what the person he was 'supposed' to be in love with was thinking.

She made no attempt to move inside of the room or pick up her whip. Instead, Isabelle firmly placed both of her hands on the doorframe, as if to steady herself, even though there were no visible signs of her shaking. "You don't want this, Simon?" Her voice was small and quivering, laced with disbelief and pain.

Simon felt a storm coming on. Things were about to blow up in his face. "No, that't not what I said. You don't get it-"

Isabelle finally ventured into the room, marching towards with remarkable speed for the tall, leather boots she was wearing. "I do get it. You're the one who doesn't. You're the one who doesn't understand that once you ascend you will have your memories back, and you will no longer be cursed. You just don't believe us. You don't believe me. You don't _trust _me. You're going to give up on us again, and just walk out like you did the first time-"

Clary stepped in, anger now blazing in her eyes and replacing the hurt that was there before, "That's not what happened, Iz. You can't think about it that way. He sacrificed himself for us-"

"STOP SAYING THAT." Isabelle shrieked. She was crying now, out of frustration and exhaustion with trying to make things right. "He did not just sacrifice himself, he sacrificed our love. You guys all got to go off and be happy with each other, but then there was me, sad and alone. Sure, we got to live-in pain. But was that really better than dying?"

Alec and Jace started talking over each other, in an attempt to calm her, but she was having none of it. Simon just stood there and took the lashings, already too steamed and tired to really fight back.

"I know that all is well because we are alive and Simon can ascend and I should be grateful. But," She folded her arms over her chest and smiled dryly at him. "He doesn't want to ascend."

The door was slammed and she was gone in under three seconds. All Simon could think about how much he had screwed up and how maybe Isabelle was right about him walking out again. She didn't seem like the kind of girl who would give out chance after chance. What if there was no going back to her this time, and he had one less reason to be a shadowhunter because of that? Simon thought that this would make his choosing easier, but to his misfortune, he only found things much harder to choose between. He knew that letting her go would only make him think about her and miss her more, but becoming a shadowhunter would allow him another chance, even if it wasn't given entirely by her.

All he could do about that is take it and be grateful.

That's what Isabelle had been talking about: being grateful for what was given to her. Even then, she hadn't been happy.

**…**

**I hope you enjoyed it!**

**More might be up by Friday, if not, then sooner!**

**thanks for reading! be sure to drop a quick review, even if it's just to say 'hi'**

**Until next time,**

**-H.**


	3. Winged Cupid Painted Blind

**Sorry this took forever!**

**But I hope you like this chapter and are able to read through all the cheese :P**

**longer A.N. at the end…**

**Enjoy :)**

**...**

"_There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment." _

**-Sarah Dessen**

**...**

Isabelle wasn't there.

The first thing Simon noticed about the party was that Isabelle was not there. The one person he had ascended for did not show up to celebrate with him. Well, in her defense, he may have said some things that really hurt her the last time the spoke. But truthfully, Simon had never felt this badly about anything in his life. He knew how much this meant to her, and the fact that she did not show up for either the actually ascension process or the party was pretty obvious that she was extremely upset by their last quarrel.

Soft music drifted through the Institute's hallways as Simon left the huge party and went to find Isabelle's bedroom. He had told Clary to not worry about him; he was just getting some fresh air before he really got into the celebration. It wasn't entirely a lie. He would feel like he was turning over a new leaf and breathing okay once he settled things with Isabelle. If only he could find her room. There were too many rooms in the huge building. A dark shadow crept around his ankles and it wasn't until he stepped closer to one of the torch lit walls did he see the furry cat, "Church." Simon breathed with relief. He knew that demons couldn't possibly enter the Institute, but that didn't stop him from wondering what other creatures might be lurking around the shadowed hallways…

"Can you take me to Isabelle?"

The cat sat down and lazily began to lick his paw and then swipe it over his ears.

Simon groaned. "Come on, cat. I need to speak with her. It's important." He shook his head and chuckled at how crazy he must've sounded, talking to a cat like that. Then again, Church wasn't necessarily your average cat.

Suddenly Church sat up and shook out his coat, puffing it up as if he were trying to seem insulted. He slowly ambled down the hallway, Simon following after quietly, afraid to disturb the eerie silence. There were so many doors to even more rooms; how could this cat possibly have any idea where to go-

"Simon." Her voice was strained and barely above a whisper, but he heard it as if it were the most important sound to his ears. Simon followed the sound of her voice until he came to a door opened just a crack so that a sliver of soft light filtered into the otherwise dark hallway.

"Isabelle." He said when he had pushed open the door and found her lying on the stone floor in front of a fireplace blazing with crackling fire.

Her head snapped around and suddenly her eyes were on his, wide and dark. The reflection of the fire before her burned in the dark orbs, only making their appearance seem even more deadly. Something about the way she was positioned, a throw pillow clutched to her chest and her back curved over the item, knobs of her spine sticking out under her loose, white tanktop. She looked feeble and delicate, like she hadn't been eating or sleeping, but doing this instead. Her cheeks were hollow and there was a look of complete lostness to her expression that he felt like he never should have seen on her, but could just barely recall-

"Max." Simon breathed under his breath. Isabelle seemed to have heard because he turned away and her body began to shake violently with each wretched sob. He saw the faded little toy soldier in her hands, squeezed between the pillow and her chest. _Max_. _A year ago from today..._ A voice whispered in side his head. His own voice. Telling him. Reminding him. "It wasn't your fault." He walked further into the room until he was right behind her and then sat down, his shoulder merely inches away from brushing against hers.

She turned her face back to his, looking at him through red rimmed, teary eyes that made his heart flutter painfully in his chest. "You remember him?"

"Your brother? Yeah. I've never seen you so upset like this before, so I assumed it had something to do with him. Well...except for that one night when he...when Sebastian..."

Isabelle's eyes snapped shut and she turned away from him again. "It was almost as bad when you were gone. Every day for five months, I could not stop comparing my loss of you to my loss of Max. The thing is with Max's death...I knew he was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I could grieve, and eventually I would be able to cope with just the memories of him. But with you gone…" Isabelle's voice cracked. "Five months. Five months of tears and sleepless nights. Dreams of you when I did get sleep, only to end with me waking up, screaming at you to stay with me. Five months of knowing you were out there, knowing that you had no recollection of telling me that you loved me. Knowing that you had no memory of who I was. No idea who Isabelle Lightwood was." She was crying now, hot tears were rolling down her cheeks like a stream, cracking her porcelain face and shattering her even more than she already was.

Simon felt something in him snap and he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her and pull her into his lap. The pillow and soldier dropped from her hands as she responded to his touch and molded to his body. Her head rested in the juncture between his collar bones and shoulder while her hands found their way under his suit jacket and over his back. "I never forgot you, Isabelle. Maybe your name and what you stood for, but never you. I still dreamed about you. My soul held onto what it wanted back before we got separated, and now, it refuses to let go of you."

Isabelle's cries softened, getting more and more silent until she was only sniffling between her words. "That's what you told me once. That there were things our souls wanted. I think I discovered mine wanted you the night that Max...died and you held me in your arms all night. That's when I realized I loved you."

Simon smiled into her hair and breathed in the familiar scent of her tears and gardenia perfume. "I feel like you never told me that before, you know."

Izzy nodded and adjusted herself in his arms so that she was facing him, her lips only centimeters away from his. "I didn't. It was something I always kept to myself." She breathed in, her upper teeth digging into her lower lip. "I also never told you that I loved you."

Simon's expression faded into puzzlement. "If I told you I loved you, what did you say back?"

"You told me not to say 'I love you' unless I meant it, so instead of saying 'I love you', I said 'I mean it.'" She shook her head and looked up at the tall ceiling, obviously trying to keep back more tears. "I regretted it the moment I realized that you were going to be taken away from me. I felt like I had wasted my only and _last _time to say those three words to someone who I really and truly loved."

Simon was silent. He didn't want to say something stupid like: "I'm here now; you can still say it." He wanted it to come out when she was ready and when the moment was right. No pressure for either of them.

To his own heart's dismay, the next words out of her mouth were not the ones he wanted to hear, "You should go back down to your party. I'm sure everyone is wondering where the center of all their attention is." Isabelle climbed out of his lap, then picked up the pillow and tiny soldier before standing up and reaching her hand out to Simon. He took hers, noticing that it was cold and clammy against his, damp around the edges where she had wiped her tears.

"What about you?" Simon asked, wondering whether or not she would join the celebration.

"I'm tired. I don't really feel happy enough to pretend to be happy around people who actually are happy." Izzy leaned in quickly, and before Simon knew what she was doing, her lips had brushed his cheekbone and he felt a shock at the simple touch, that traveled through the rest of his body and lit his veins on fire. Woah. That had never happened before. "Thanks for making me feel better. Go have fun."

He stared after her as she climbed into the only bed in the room and made herself comfortable. "Izzy, I'm-"

"Simon, _go_." Isabelle growled, her voice muffled under the layer of covers.

_**...**_

"Where have you been? The party is over in like thirty minutes. You missed, like, all of it!" Clary exclaimed upon seeing Simon again in the buzzing ballroom. The party was not small; hundreds of people were there: shadowhunters, members of the consul. He only knew about eight or ten people there in total. The rest were total strangers. However, there had been other newly ascended shadowhunters who were sharing this experience as well, so there must've been some of their family members there as well. The word 'family' made his heart skip a beat in his chest everytime he heard it or thought about it. It wasn't easy leaving his family, he knew that. But it was going to be even harder not seeing them ever again. Luckily, for him, Luke and Jocelyn had decided Simon as their adoptive son, and let him chose the last name 'Fairchild' as his own during ascension. The thoughts of spending more time with Clary and catching up with her brought him more joy, and he was able to appreciate the party a whole lot more.

"Angel above, where do you think they got all the glitter from?" Clary asked Simon while trying to sweep the sparkling substance off of her dress and out of her hair. An unrelenting glitter rain had been falling from the ceiling since the party began, and there seemed to be a thick coat of the stuff on and in everything but the edibles and drinkables.

"The one and only Magnus Bane, of course." Jace said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Alec and Magnus appeared out of nowhere-literally-blocking the trio along their way to the stage. "There you are, Simon!" Magnus said cheerfully, clapping him on the shoulder. When his hand came away, his entire palm was covered with glitter. "Alexander!" He shouted, pulling his boyfriend close to him so that he could get a close look at his hand. "We are doing this at the wedding. I can picture it now," He made a square with both of his hands up in front of him, "Glitter, glitter, everywhere."

Alec looked sideways at the warlock, seemingly either about to slap him or burst out laughing. Neither happened. He just kept looking, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, "I feel like even if I say 'no', you're going to do it anyway."

Magnus laughed. "If you say 'no', I will double the amount of glitter that rains down on us, and _only _us."

Clary glared at them both, looking about ready to punch them. "If you will excuse us," She gestured to herself, Simon and Jace impatiently, "we are trying to get somewhere."

"Well excuse you, then." Magnus retorted as he grabbed Alec and whisked him back into the crowd of other celebrating shadowhunters.

_**...**_

The music was deafeningly loud when the three of them finally made it to the stage. It wasn't even good music; it was terrible waltzing music that only the adults seemed to be enjoying. Eventually, Jace got bored of standing around listening to Simon and Clary converse and decided to steal her for a dance to put the bad music to good use. Now, Simon stood by himself, watching over the party glumly, wishing he could go back to his own bed. When Clary found him after he got back from seeing Isabelle, she had told him that there were only thirty minutes left of the party. Surely, it had been at least an hour since then, so he thought, that maybe shadowhunters ended their celebrations when they felt like it.

"Umm...excuse me, everyone?" Someone was tapping the microphone, trying to get everyone's attention. The crowd settled down quickly and when Simon turned around to match the voice to the it's body, he was shocked by what he saw: it was Isabelle. Except, she looked different than how she had an hour ago. Way different. The short, shining, silver dress she was wearing hugged her curves and slender figure in all the right places, her hair was combed out into long, silky ringlets spilling over her shoulders and down her back. Her face was free of tears and pain. It seemed to be covered with the layers of makeup she was wearing and the slightly more pronounced expression of utter terror etched onto her nearly flawless features.

"I'm going to sing a song for someone who I love so, so much. More than I thought was possible, actually." Isabelle looked small and lonely on the stage, but she stood tall and clutched the microphone with strong hands. "It's called: 'All I Ever Wanted'."

" _Opened up my heart_

_Start to feel again_

_Take another step_

_Now I understand_

_All the time I waited_

_All my faded plans_

_Every single tragedy was leading up to_

_someone that loves me like you_

_In a world full of broken promises_

_You were my portrait of truth_

_And suddenly I confess_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever wanted_

_Was you_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever needed_

_All I ever needed_

_was you_

_It took a little pain_

_To find what I believe in_

_All I ever needed was you_

_Opened up my eyes_

_Finally I'm seeing it_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever needed_

_was you_

_I ignored the stars_

_Each and every day_

_Don't give them credit cause_

_All they ever did was bring me pain_

_Waited for a love_

_I didn't have a name_

_You could call me crazy_

_But it's all I had to keep me sane_

_And out of the darkness comes light_

_and I feel like I'm staring at the sun_

_The shadow we cast feels so right_

_It took so many wrongs to find the way_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever wanted_

_Was you_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever needed_

_All I ever needed_

_was you_

_It took a little pain_

_To find what I believe in_

_All I ever needed was you_

_Opened up my eyes_

_Finally I'm seein'_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever needed_

_was you_

_(All I needed...was you)_

_I played a part_

_Acting like I knew just who you are_

_Traded every day that I can love_

_Anyone but you_

_I played a part_

_Acting like it's written in the stars_

_Loneliness was killing me enough_

_I said I can't make it through_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever needed_

_It took a little pain_

_To find what I believe in_

_All I ever needed was you_

_Opened up my eyes_

_Finally I'm seeing it_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I ever needed_

_was you_

_I told his heart not to leave or lie_

_It took so long just to realize_

_All I ever needed was you "_

Applause erupted all around Simon, and he found himself clapping the loudest for her, standing up proudly, feeling all the emotions she sang into the lyrics. Her voice was so beautiful and serene, rolling over and through the lyrics like they were her own. In that moment, he could feel her love for him, he could see it reflecting in her beautiful, dark eyes, as she kept her gaze steady on his.

People were still clapping and cheering when Simon felt his feet moving towards the stage. He was running towards her and she was running for him. Surely they were going to collide in a painful mess of flesh and bones, but he caught her just in time. They embraced, and they were not a mess of flesh and bones, but a beautiful tangle of flesh and bones. The tangle was like the knot you tie at a wedding, symbolizing that you are one another's and shall be together until the day of death. However, it was not wedding vows that left their mouths as they whispered into each other's ears, it was promises,

"Simon, I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me for everything I said about you sacrificing us. It was brave, what you did. And you didn't sacrifice us, you saved us." Tears of joy collected in her eyes, and Simon raised his hands to wipe them away as soon as they fell. "Because you knew that the only way for you to really be with me and to have a family is if you were mortal. It wasn't just something that you wanted for yourself, but something that you wanted for me, too. Because-"

"I love you." He finished for her, smiling when she smiled through her own tears. "I love you, Isabelle Lightwood, and I promise that nothing else will ever come between us. You should never have to worry about needing to be forgiven by me ever again."

Izzy's eyes were still shining, but her smile was bigger than ever as she spoke her response, "I love you, too Simon. I've never been in love with someone this deeply, and as much as it scares me, I trust you as much as I love you. Nothing can, nor will anything _ever _amount to you and how you make me feel."

And right then and there, they kissed. In front of everyone. It wasn't just a peck, but a kiss involving the interplay of tongue and teeth, soft, but full of passion and love. Simon's hands were at her waist, fisting the fabric of her dress as much as he could and Isabelle's hands found their way into his hair, pulling and knotting her fingers in the soft curls. They weren't thinking about anything but how much they meant to each other, and how they didn't care that anyone saw. Because for Simon and Isabelle,

just for a moment,

it was only them in the room.

_**...**_

**I really hope you liked this chapter. To be honest, it was kind of a pain to write. I don't know why, but this is definitely my least favorite fanfiction I've written for sizzy, I think. I'm not sure why; maybe it's because it's not as happy as my other ones...I don't know.**

**Whatever, that doesn't matter.**

**The song I used: **_**All I Ever Wanted **_**by **_**Faith Hill**_

**This story will be updated once I update Stop and Stare, so, hopefully, soon :P**

**Please review!**

**Thanks for reading, and until next time,**

**-H.**


	4. Free From Tension

_**...**_

"I'm going to be sick." Simon said through clenched teeth. His stomach was indeed churning as he watched Isabelle reach her hand into the middle of their circle of friends to spin the bottle. He did not want any part of this twisted truth or dare game that she had suggested. Of course, Jace, Clary, Magnus and Alec had all decided to join in because it would not be fun with only two people. Well, apparently for Isabelle, the more people, the better dares. Knowing her, everybody was terrified of what would happen next.

"Simon, it's just a game. No one is going to be hurt; maybe just very embarrassed." Izzy attempted to assure him. She grabbed the bottle and spun it. To Simon's complete and utter dismay, it landed on him. "Okay, Simon." Izzy raised her eyebrows across the circle at him, "Truth or dare?"

Simon wasn't going to take the bait. He knew that she wanted him to pick dare, but he also knew that if he did, _shit _would go down. Isabelle Lightwood was not someone to trust when it came to games like this. Especially when she had been drinking.

"I don't understand what the point of this get together thing was, Iz. I thought it was just going to be me and you."

Isabelle laughed lightly, swaying a little as her shoulders shook. "It's the one month anniversary of you becoming a shadowhunter. Also, of our relationship. Our new relationship." Her words were slurred, and she sounded quite tired, but her eyes were still fierce and burning with excitement. "Truth or dare?"

He hesitated before answering, "Truth."

Clary leaned away from her conversation with Jace to listen in on what Isabelle was about to tell Simon. Alec remained knocked out cold against his boyfriend, too drunk to really care about anything.

"Of course. Seven rounds straight with all truths." Isabelle rocked back, looking up at the high ceiling of her bedroom as she thought. "Got it." She crawled closer to Simon and placed her hands on his knees. "If I were a food item, what would I be, and how would you eat me?"

Simon's eyes widened, but he did not let the strange question faze him. It was expected. From Isabelle, at least. "You would be a muffin or a biscuit. And I would butter you up, then rip your top off to eat the bottom first, and then continue to the top. Because the top is the best part." Well, that had come out a lot more sexual than he had intended. But...he did actually eat his biscuits and muffins that way.

"Damn, Simon. I didn't know you got down so dirty." Jace cackled.

Simon felt his cheeks burn as Clary and Magnus began to laugh as well. "Izzy, I meant that in a totally unsexual way." Simon started as Isabelle's lips curved into a seductive smile. But once she started, there really was no stopping her. She climbed into his lap, looked him straight in the eye and said,

"Love me now; _right now_." Her lips came crashing down onto his, soft but tasting like tequila. It wasn't the kind of kiss that he would have expected from her after receiving soft, intimate kisses during the whole month they were together, and nothing more than that except for some venturous touching.

His lips parted beneath hers and suddenly he had a lap full of Isabelle, and she was pushing him onto the floor, dominating in the process.

Clary and Jace took this as a time to exit the room-_quickly_. Magnus tried to wake Alec up in order to move him, but he woke up on his own (unfortunately) and screamed. _**Loudly**_. It was enough to jolt Simon out of his haze of lust for Isabelle, but she kept going, biting and at his neck and raking her nails across his middle and back.

"WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY?" Alec hollered, stumbling drunkenly to his feet. He leaned heavily against a wall and then Magnus and then

tripped over air and fell on top of Izzy and Simon.

"What the hell!" She shrieked, scrabbling around to shove her brother away.

Alec rolled off and then was still, the only thing indicating his life was his chest rising and falling slowly as he slumbered.

Magnus lifted him, shaking a little under his weight and left the room.

Isabelle crawled off of Simon and stood up, offering him her hand. "Let's go to bed."

"You and your brother are both so strange while drunk." Simon muttered as Izzy pulled him up.

"It's a Lightwood thing." She mumbled sleepily as she fell onto her bed, pulling Simon with her.

_**...**_

When Isabelle woke up early the next morning, Simon was gone. Of course he was. It's not like they shared a room.

Isabelle pushed back her blanket and raked her hands through her hair, removing the tangles from the black strands. The pale light shining through the high windows in her room made the scars on her hands glitter with an odd beauty that she'd always failed to accept. Scars weren't pretty. Of course as a shadowhunter, you are forced to accept them because fighting is what you do. But to Isabelle, scars were just a reminder at how she hadn't dodged her enemy fast enough, or how she hadn't trained well enough.

Sighing, she swung her legs over the edge of her bed and began walking over to the bathroom. In the mirror, her eyes were scrunched with sleep and her thick hair was trailing limply down her back. Why did guys like her? Her eyes were just a dark, dark brown; if you were close enough, you could see the flecks of gold that made them not black. Of course, Isabelle never let guys get too close to her because then they would try to find out about her and get with her which was not something she liked to do. Ever. Simon was different. He had found his way into her heart during a time when she had her barriers down, and he had stuck there. Nothing mattered anymore because in that moment, she realized that she wanted him to stay.

Isabelle turned the sink faucet on, and shivered as the cold water ran over her skin, and dripped down her neck. As sweaty as she got while training, there was no point in taking a shower now, just wash up. Izzy took a clip from a drawer and pulled her hair up in an awkward messy twist that left some strands hanging down on the side of her face.

A loud knocking at her door tore her gaze away from the mirror, and she left the bathroom to open it.

Simon. His brown hair was tousled, and he had on some light gear, like he was about to go training. Isabelle would have thought that he looked attractive, but the headache raging through her head was an indicator that she had partied too hard the previous night, and she wanted nothing more than to burrow under her sheets and sleep off her overuse of alcohol.

"What do you want?" She snapped more harshly than she had really intended.

Simon raised his brows, surprised by her hostility. "You're so unwelcoming."

"That's because you're not welcome; it's my room."

"That's funny because you seemed to welcome me comfortably last night-"

"I was drunk." She shot back defensively.

He looked at her briefly with curiosity dancing in his deep eyes, then leaned against the doorframe, smirking. "Think you could take me down?"

Isabelle scoffed, the pride of being a better shadowhunter than him overthrowing the pain of her hangover. She crossed her arms over her chest, smirking at him, "Any day."

Simon stood up straight and offered her his hand.

Isabelle's smirk dropped from her lips and she felt her hand tighten around the door knob. "What are you doing?"

"Let's go train."

"Do I have to hold your hand?"

Simon's cheeks turned a slight pink shade, but he held Isabelle's gaze steadily and dropped his arm back to his side. "It's a gentlemanly gesture, Isabelle."

Isabelle suddenly felt nausea clawing at her stomach, and she felt as if all the air had left her lungs. When she tried to breathe in, her throat clenched up, as her stomach churned, and last night's party began to creep up her esophagus. She started to close the door, as a gag rose in the back of her mouth, but Simon stuck his foot in the doorframe and glanced at her with a concerned glint in his eyes, "Are you okay? You're looking a little green-"

"I'm fine." Isabelle covered her mouth with her hands, and was just barely able to get out a few words before she ran for the bathroom, "Meet me in the kitchen!"

_**...**_

"I'm not sure you should drink that, Iz." Simon said while suspiciously watching his girlfriend raise a tall glass of thick, brownish slush to her lips. "What did you put in it, anyway?"

She placed the glass back on the kitchen counter and took a step away from it. "Umm, fruits, avocado, spinach, cinnamon, honey." Isabelle grinned at Simon, "_Raw_ honey."

Simon cringed as she listed the rest of the ingredients. The mixture definitely did not seem like something anybody would want to drink, not even if they were trying to sober up. He guessed that was the point-drunk people got themselves into strange situations and could not always sort things out. It only made sense that she would go ahead and drink it anyway.

"Are you sure that's not a recipe for getting through a hangover? Because being hung over and being drunk are two different things."

Isabelle said nothing and just lifted the glass to her lips, swallowing a surprisingly large gulp for a taste test. "Raziel." She gasped as she pulled the cup back. "That was so good. It tastes like apple pie!"

"What?" Simon looked doubtful, and he was extremely curious to know whether or not that statement was true. However, he did not want to drink the disgusting looking sludge.

Izzy pushed the mixture towards him, "Want a taste?"

Simon shrank back, not wanting the stuff near him. "Nope, I'm good. However, I do believe that if you want to be able to train today, we should go now." He pointed at the clock on the wall closest to them, "It's almost midday, and later on we have that thing with Magnus and Alec."

She frowned against her glass of sludge, "What thing?"

This time, it was Simon's turn to frown, "You didn't hear?"

"Hear what, Simon?" Isabelle placed the glass down on the counter, hard, as she was beginning to feel quite frustrated with his unnecessary stalling.

"They're getting married and taking over the Institute."

_**...**_

**I am so sorry this was so late, but I have been having writers' block, a lot of school work, plus there was a death in my family, and I'm so tired…**

**I'm going to finish this story, I promise, it's just that now that summer has ended, I don't have as much time anymore :(**

**I'll try and update ASAP, but unfortunately, there are no promises…**

**-H.**


End file.
